No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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