Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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