I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
