Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
