I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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