maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
