apparently the secret to your success is patron
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
