i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
