I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
time to smoke my breakfast
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
