margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
