I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
