I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
