omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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