So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
