I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
