doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
