Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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