At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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