I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
