I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
