Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
