It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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