There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
