i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
