PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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