Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
