The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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