Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
