apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
even my farts smell like vagina
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
