Sponge bath it is.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
