Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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