I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
