In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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