just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
