I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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