I could have mohawked her pubes.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He passed out mid-signature
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize