do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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