what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
