bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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