I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
