are you still at the devil's house?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
