margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
