Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
