ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
