Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
