its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the room spins SO much faster in panama
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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