for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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