She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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