i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
