I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize