I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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