I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
His hands were made for my vagina.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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