I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
