Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
