You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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