Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
