That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
