I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
