i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
