It's Friday. Sex?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
